We've got your morning reading covered.WASHINGTON, Nov 15 (Reuters) - An anti-satellite missile test Russia conducted on Monday generated a debris field in low-Earth orbit that endangered the International Space Station and will pose a hazard to space activities for years, U.S.
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Related: The 7 Worst Things Airline Pilots Have Done Mid-Flight Get the Cracked Daily Newsletter! We're beginning to think the whole Soviet space program was a diabolical ruse by the stamp industry.įor more on space, check out 5 Retarded Space Travel Ideas (That Might Actually Work) and 6 Reasons Space Travel Will Always Suck. Although, considering the alternative was thrusting a nuclear powered disastercraft away from the Earth, we should probably be grateful for the distraction their little space station provided. We say "unfortunately" because the first three cosmonauts to visit it tragically died before re-entering the Earth's atmosphere. Unfortunately for all involved, the Soviets directed their energies toward their space station instead. While being anti-American, they were also pro-explosion: kerosene mixed with benzene is a dangerous mix that is more combustible than gasoline. Instead of using liquid oxygen and hydrogen like NASA, the Soviets went with the method of mixing benzene with kerosene. Turns out the flaw was simply not trusting American methods. The rocket they were supposed to use went through four flights from 1969 to 1972, and came back in pieces every single time. Shockingly, neither program got past the testing stage. Because that sounded totally doable by this point.ĭeveloping this tiny plastic train model cost fourteen men and eleven dogs their lives. Also, while there, they'd construct a nuclear powered "Mars Train" for getting around and stuff. In another version, a six man crew would actually land on Mars and live there for a year as they explored the Red Planet from pole to pole. In one version, the cosmonauts would orbit around Mars, swing back to Earth, bypass Earth to go to Venus, just for fun, then come home. Pipe dreams based on uninvented technologies excluded, the mission itself was made of insanity. And "just hoping for the best when it comes to periods of prolonged weightlessness since no one had gone longer than a few days in space before" ambitious. Like, "growing 20 to 50% of the crew's food in hydroponic greenhouses" ambitious. And to keep those cosmonauts alive during the three years, Russian scientists came up with some pretty ambitious systems. First off, the three man mission to Mars would take three years. You have to hand it to them, the plans had moxy. Here's a tasteful stamp." Continue Reading Below
"Sorry our negligence got you burnt to death. But only click there if you're already dead inside. And did we mention that he had radio contact with Earth the whole time, where US scientists listening in reported hearing Vladimir and his flight commander crying and cursing, or that his wife was on the call, asking him what to tell their children? If you click here, you can hear his last words and see what remained of him after landing. Unfortunately, his parachutes got tangled on re-entry and he never had a chance slow his stupid Soyuz down. In other words, Soyuz 1 was up space creek without a paddle.Īfter 13 orbits around the Earth, the mission was aborted and Vladimir was ordered back home.
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His automatic stabilization system died and his manual stabilization system was only partially working. His orientation detectors froze, so he couldn't maneuver the craft. His solar panel didn't work, so the power to his systems failed. Continue Reading Belowīut it would be Vladimir who would make the trip, and his problems started the minute he got into orbit. So, imagine you just made humankind's first walk in space, you get back in the space ship, sick as all get-out, and now you have goose your partner while he tries to get you back home.Ībove: The Voskhod 2 crew compartment, one ill-timed boner away from disaster. But best of all, once the automatic landing failed, which it did, getting to the navigation system required one cosmonaut to lie down across the seats, while the other held him in place. But in the race to beat the Americans, the Soviet government insisted this version go up.īecause of the crappy design, crew members had to crane their heads at a 90 degree angle just to read their instruments, and the capsule had zero exit strategies if an emergency came up during re-entry. Voskhod 2 was really just a modified version of an earlier vessel, the Vostok, which was never meant to carry more than one cosmonaut. Remember how we said the Soviet program was a bit of a shit show? This is the part where that shitshowiness comes into play.
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